I’m back

I am setting new records of blog absence with each passing day. This time I am back to writing a post after over a month.

But the good news is, today after a long time I have been struck by lightening (probably of enlightenment) that I need to blog daily to reclaim the person I am used to be.

The past few months have been very painful on many accounts. I have been ripped off my sanity, my savings account is on an alarming low (due to reason mentioned in my post step into future ) and I have been suffering from depression.

Yes, you read that right. Depression.

No, I am not under any form of medical treatment and neither have I been pronounced to be suffering from clinical depression, but in my heart of hearts I know I have been and to some extent I am even now.

A lot has happened in the past four years and I seem to have taken a lot of time in understanding the reason behind every odd that came my way, hence the delay in overcoming those obstacles.

Mum is doing fine. She’s better than she has been in a very long time *touch wood*.

Though the journey of her fight against cancer has been full of bouts of severe depression that affected her for obvious reasons and also as a side effect of her anti-cancer medications. But taking care of her midst other stresses threw me in a whirlpool that I began to feel I have totally lost my mind. Literally.

The past six months have taken a toll on my mental health and I seem to have aged considerably, if not in any other way, surely in the way I look. The mirror has totally refused to recognize me.

My extended family has been no good and have left no opportunity upturned to add fuel to the fire that has been burning our lives. Pari’s tantrums have been at their all time peak in the past few months and she has slowly become the ‘Dennis the Menace’.

I won’t make any promises in this post about what all I intend to blog, because I just want to do it this time and not just keep postponing to write like I have been in the past one year.

The long breaks from writing I have been enjoying have slyly stolen my ability to pour my heart in words, making regular writing all the more difficult. But when giving up is not an option, trying the only way about it.

The storm has passed (or that’s what I’d like to believe) and I have calmed down quite a bit from the bout of fury I have been burning in past three months. The knit brows that I absolutely dislike are now seen plastered on my forehead all day, all night.

My worry occupied mind has no room left for memory, hence ‘forgetful’ is now my middle name.

A lot of events happened in Pari’s school life that I’ll be covering at length beginning from the point I left.

So for now, I am dusting this blog and planning how I am going to find time to write daily. Even if it means writing just a couple of lines, I want to do it as a cure to battle the depression that has been threatening to deter me from working for a better future.

The song on my mind: Dil hai chota sa ~ Roja 

 

 

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9 thoughts on “I’m back

  1. well well you cant beat my record of over a year .. :) and when you do that everyone forgets you :(

    you are right the prolonged absence does have effect on how we write and its not easy to write …

    That is a beautiful song, my favourite .. it is on my CD of my favourite songs and i listen to them often..

    and hey WELCOME BACK :)

  2. Hugs, hugs and more hugs…. I don’t how yo feel about this but can you try to incorporate a short meditation every morning, even for just 10 mins into your routine.. It helps A LOT in keeping sanity throughout the day! Maybe you can learn some method in a class, like in Art of living or mindfullness meditation and I am sure you will see a world of difference! Lots of love to you and Pari.

  3. It is very easy to say…hang in there.. all will be okay… because this is not happening to me…. but I will pray that it does… keep the faith… :)

  4. Stumbled upon your blog and read this post. I am sorry to hear about the unfortunate events but I hope you are able to get through your depression. Don’t forget it is okay to seek help!

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