Everyday around bedtime Pari & I lie together and talk in our own way about all that we did during the day. On many days, I actually doze off giggling to her gibberish bed-time stories before her, only to wake up after sometime having a little princess patting me gently with her little hands, an occasional hair ruffle and tender kisses just the way I put her to sleep.
Words can’t do justice to the feeling of warmth that fills my heart every night. It isn’t just love but gratitude too. An emotion tinged with gratefulness towards life & God for blessing me with something so precious as Pari.
The song on my mind: Juhi ki kali meri laadli ~ Dil ek Mandir
Thank you everyone who shared their valuable inputs & personal experience in my post, Finding Answers.
I am feeling a lot better now having made many changes and decisions since that day. Firstly, ranting about the many confusions & insecurities circling my mind was a major step in freeing myself from them. I had been trying to get away with them letting time to soak them up, but unfortunately like always only writing about it could rescue me.
I have started disciplining Pari a little more strictly than I was earlier. I think it would be more appropriate to say, that I have now started being firm with her which I am sure was lacking all this while. Earlier I used to try to explain things to her, be very serious with her but somewhere I was being more of a friend than a parent and that lack of firmness, I guess was the result of my constant failure.
The first time I refused to give in to her kicking, hitting, screaming tactics, she responded with going quiet. That silence, absolute lack of resistance and looking away from me hugging her favorite soft-toy made my heart stop for a while. The silence was deafening. But, I had to keep my stand, I have to do it many times again and I am going to do it. Discipline in life is mandatory. Teaching the right behavior is a very tedious task, but a necessary one.
Things are slowly changing. It’s too early to call them positive but yes, there is a definite change of gears as far how I am handling things.
I have started working on a lot of other issues that I learnt about from the helpful responses on my earlier post.
Among other things I am trying to concentrate on Pari alone whenever I am with her. It’s tough while juggling many household chores or trying to grab a few moments of me-time, but I am trying my best.
Another important point is I have come to understand that my ex is my past. I need to move out of his shadow while dealing with Pari to be able to see things in current perspective and as issues of child behavior alone. I am determined to slowly curtail till I totally minimize the thoughts of blaming my problems on Pari’s half pool of genes that she has inherited from her father. It’s sad that my insecurities often raise their head to confuse me enough to go emotionally unstable whenever trials come.
Having said that, since my vision is getting clearer, I can see rays of hope fill my system. This self-analysis shall continue in the coming posts too, for I think I have managed to cover just the tip of the iceberg in this post.
Title – My Life My Rules – 18 Stories of Unconventional Careers
Author – Sonia Golani
Publisher – Westland Publishers Ltd. India
Genre – Inspiration
Pages – 226
ISBN – 978-93-82618-27-0
Price – 250 INR
Synopsis: Work fills up a large part of our lives. To be happy, it is imperative that we like what we do. Most of us are guided into a career by our parents, families and surrounding environment largely on the basis of time-tested conventional careers.
Some step out of the charted path along the way and choose what they want to do and there are some whom the work chooses, what is usually termed as destiny by the people. This book is focused closely on 18 such people who listened closely to the bidding of their heart and set sail on that path, freeing themselves from the shackles of clichéd social parameters of success, etc.; choosing inner peace and happiness over what is expected of them.
Review: When I first read about this book, it at once clicked the right spot in my mind. I am in the middle of the mega transition phase of my professional life. My personal life has been the driving force behind my making a shift in my field of occupation. But, the good news is, life is being generous in letting me think well and decide what I enjoy doing and then do it for the rest of my life to make a living.
This book is a beautiful celebration of work and life, that takes due care not to be preachy about taking up offbeat careers. Featuring 18 celebrities from different walks of life who came from various fields of academics makes this book an inspiration for all sections of the working class.
Each story explodes conventional myths about the professional choices of a cross-section of people, proving that switching careers mid-stream is not a bad idea at all. The book shares an interesting insight into the lives of the people, their family back grounds and all the other factors that helped shape them to be the individuals we know them as.
Rahul Akerkar better known as a celebrity chef and the owner of Mumbai’s fine dining restaurant, Indigo has a Masters in Biochemical Engineering from the US. Harsha Bhogle is an alum of IIM Ahmedabad but is a world-renowned cricket commentator. Amish Tripathi is an alumnus of IIM Calcutta with a successful corporate life, but was nonetheless convinced that what he wanted to do was write, and write he did; the Shiva Trilogy, a consistent chart topper. Nikhil Chinapa, Aditi Govitrikar and R.Madhavan also feature among the 18 celebrities shortlisted.
The language is simple and lucid and the anecdotes quite relatable and presented very interestingly.
Every chapter talks about a new story and has a sketch of the celebrity that adds to the charm of the book without distracting. I echo the author’s belief that the list of people with second thoughts about their jobs or degrees will grow.
This book seeks to inspire every working individual from young professionals to senior level managers to opt out of the rat race, chase their dreams and pursue a profession of their choice for inner happiness, success and a long-term career. Success and monetary gains shall follow on their own.
Everyday I open my blog and plan on writing a post, but the one issue I so desperately want to talk about prevents me from writing beyond the initial few lines.
I am plain confused as to how to address the situation that has been taking a toll on my life, my peace of mind and is making me feel lack of energy and time all the time.
Pari’s violent tantrums. I am not sure if it is normal for her age, for very honestly getting enough time to browse and read articles online hasn’t been possible owing to lot of reasons. Prime being fatigue and issues with the wi-fi at my home and lately WordPress eating up my long drafts mysteriously. Anyway, I digress.
I am well aware of the extreme behavior gene Pari has inherited from her father. The kind of angry outbursts she shows having striking resemblance to that of her paternal grand-father and off course her father. But, that is when the big BUT steps in my life. I believe, genetics is a major determinant. Agreed. But, I can’t just sit and watch her do all she feels compelled by a rage attack and say, “She’ll do it cause she has acquired these traits.” That is so not me.
I am not trying to fight her or to fight back nature but instead trying my level best to find a solution, find a way out and about this tricky mess of a situation. Had it been happening once in a while, I wouldn’t have been so concerned, but these angry outbursts have slowly taken up the role of being the best buddy of her toddler stubbornness. Each time I refuse to let her do or get what she is eyeing I am punished. Either by stomping feet, yelling, throwing the things in her hands or near her, banging her head against the chair if she is sitting on one, to even biting me and hitting me.
The mother in me has been putting off from writing about this particular series of events from a long time, but I think I can’t play the cool me anymore without finding a vent to my piled up emotions. Hence, I am finally trying to capture all these trying times on my blog. I am quite sure many of you are startled by my description of Pari’s behavior, my mother too is. It is because, her own daughter has always been the coolest and most obedient daughter she has ever come across. So all this is pretty shocking for my parents too.
Though, I have a very different perspective to this whole phenomenon, if I may call it one. I have lived with a man who showed this kind of angry outbursts as an adult while I was at the receiving end. The good that came out of this evil is, I know it well how Pari’s mind is working each time she is doing something similar. But, the real worry gnawing at the parent in me is how to control this behavior at this very stage, how to nip it in the bud before it blooms to create an angry monster in my precious child.
The worry has been burning me down. The sleepless nights are back. The extreme fatigue I feel during the post-dinner time when I am trying hard to work on the Internet keeps me from reading up anything useful. Or should I say I many times try to take a break from the emotional ride I live all through the day trying to balance the disciplinary in me with a soft-hearted mother, that I often choose to read something light and humorous.
The bad news is, struggling and juggling to be a single parent has started taking a toll on my peace of mind. I seem to be logged with a double share of worries of being both a mum and a dad to my daughter. Yes, my parents are there to help out, but I can never make myself turn off the thought that “I am solely responsible for everything Pari needs to have in life”. I don’t know if it is a good thought or a not so good one, I always see myself standing on the first line of responsibility, which I feel should be the way.
The quest to find answers, comfort and solutions has just started and here I am already feeling nervous about will I handle the mammoth responsibility of being a single parent. Every stepping stone makes the journey one stone shorter, so I’ll be back soon with more chunks of my life as a parent and how I am dealing with them.
The Song on my mind: Ye kya jagah hai doston ~ Umrao Jaan
Synopsis - This is a story of a boy named Nikhil Parmar who leads a monotonous life working as a software engineer. He secretly admires his colleague Suparna and has never mustered courage to speak to her let alone express his feelings for her. His life goes for a tailspin when he decides to take a break from his dull life with his college friends whom he hadn’t seen for a long time. That’s when Lord Vishnu in his modern-day avatar steps in along with weed. (The cover of the book quite well portrays that aspect of the story)
A combination of sci-fi antics mixed with zombie scare paints the scene in myriad of colors the most prominent of those being Green. Lord Vishnu entrusts the task of saving our planet and humanity to Nikhil and his friends, which brings to life many unexpected twists and turns in this thriller book.
Review – The Urban dictionary defines Toke as: To take a drag of a marijuana joint/spliff.
The story starts on a good humorous note that makes the start quite entertaining. The events at Nikhil’s office are very relatable. Things take a dingy turn when the weed steps in the story. Given the title of the book you can well imagine that marijuana occupies a key position in the story.
I found the drugged scenarios getting too dramatic on many occasions even though they are to be imagined in the backdrop of a hallucinated mind. The part played by the Japanese twins does help to lighten the smoke clouding the plot, but fails at finding logic to many of their choices and preferences. The principle task of saving the Earth from zombies seemed to take a backseat being dealt with in a rather haste towards the last quarter.
I personally found the language bit offensive. The over generous use of the F word acts as a deterrent to the flow of the book. Though I can understand the use of colorful language to do justice with the kind of environment portrayed, but it was too bitter a pill for me to swallow or appreciate at ease.
The book loses steam soon and becomes a difficult to finish expedition owing to the story not getting anywhere close to the mission mentioned in the start, with a hasty ending.
I am probably a bit old-school as far my reading preferences go that hampered me from enjoying this book.
It would make for a breezy read if colorful language & raw humor interests you.
Rating: 3.25/ 5
* Thank you HarperCollins for sending me a review copy of this book.
She has a special place in her heart for the full-size dresser mirror we have in her grandparent’s room. Whenever Pari doesn’t have any special agenda as trying to get all the fruits down from the basket, trying to explore the fridge or playing in mud (which are soon going to be talked about in detail in other posts) she spends her time admiring herself, posing, smiling and enjoying looking at her funny faces in the mirror.
So much is her fascination for the reflection of herself, that if I ask her to come to me or bring any of her toys to play with, she’ll answer looking at herself in the mirror just to catch a glimpse of herself while replying to me.
I sometimes imagine her growing up and saying Kareena Kapoor’s famous line, “Main apni favorite hoon” (which roughly translates to: I am my favorite).
She tries watching the TV looking at herself in the mirror so that when there is nothing exciting on the screen, she has the prettiest girl in the whole world to admire; herself.
She patiently watches each one of us getting ready and how we apply every cosmetic. The very next time you pick up a box/ bottle, you can see her doing the action we do when applying the product from that container. Nowadays, I just need to tell her, “Pari creme kaise lagate hain?” (How do we apply creme?) and there she tells me by pretending to get hold of the creme and how to apply it and where all.
The same exercise is repeated for applying hair oil, combing hair and every other thing. This habit has a positive side too besides full on entertainment. Every day when I bathe her or brush her teeth, she is ready for action and helps me rubbing her hands to soap and even to wash off the soap. Its absolute fun seeing her getting hold of the bottles in sequence and handing them to me to apply the moisturizer, oil etc on her.
It’s a challenge trying to keep every cosmetic out of her reach else she coats herself in it in an attempt to practice to apply it well and also tastes a little in the meantime. Oh well, that’s the scariest twist to her new-found obsession with cosmetics and its associate products.
Besides she recognises the dresses she wears at home, or when we go shopping and which ones are to be worn for the parties. You can see her get excited about going out in the car and bringing her shoes to be worn just by seeing the dresses I pick from her wardrobe.
Nevertheless, she still doesn’t like any soap on her face and anything on her hair, that includes both oil and shampoo. Hair accessories are taken off the second they are clipped and she doesn’t enjoy any bangles either.
Though I am sure all of this slowly going to change over time, hence I am trying my best to record all details.
The song on my mind: Hey Pretty Lady by John Michael Montgomery (for lyrics click here)
